Coffee, Cigarettes or Sex?
by EneriRenie
Summary: A discussion among Yoh, Manta, Ren, Horohoro, Ryu, Lyserg, and of course, Hao...as they relax [or try to] in the men's onsen. A side story of sorts to Applechan's Celebrations.


Disclaimer: Any person who'd think I own any of the Shaman King characters used in this fanfic is absolutely inane. 

A/N: Hi everyone ^^ When this fic started forming in my mind, I was already thinking that it would turn out to be some sort of side story to **Apple-chan**'s "Celebrations". And it is ^^ This fic is set a few months after Anna gives birth to Hao-chan. Five months, maybe. Features no real pairings…well, of course a little bit of Ren/Pilica, Horo/Tamao…you know the rest. ^^ And OF COURSE, Yoh/Anna! YAAAAAY! 

Heaps of hugs to Apple-chan for betaing this fic herself. Labshu Ate Apple! Hehehehehe!

Dedicated to all Mankin fanfic writers. More power to us! Wheeeee!

"If you could have only one thing—"

"Just ONE thing?!"

"Shut UP! I'm not finished yet. If you could have only one thing for the rest of your life—"

"Only THAT one thing, and NOTHING else?"

A groan. "Could everybody PLEASE stop interrupting me and let me finish my question?" They all kept quiet. "Good. Anyway, if you could have only one thing for the rest of your life…" the man paused. When nobody interrupted, he sighed with relief and flashed them all a grin. "…_What_ would it be?" 

A dramatic pause again. "Coffee…" 

Another pause. "Cigarettes…"

And then, the longest pause yet. 

"That's it?" somebody asked.

"…Or SEX?"

Chocolove glanced around, while everyone…everyone being Yoh, Hao, Ren, Horo-horo, Manta, Ryu, and Lyserg (Faust had declined their invitation to join them in the onsen, saying he was quite busy this morning)…stared back at him dumbly.

Everyone, that is, except for Hao, who grinned widely…but for once, did not say anything. 

The comedian cleared his throat. "Uh…helloooo? Did you hear what I said, guys?"

Ren crossed his arms and glared at him. "Okay, what's the punch line, Chocolove? It better NOT be corny, or I will NOT be responsible for MY actions." 

"IT'S NOT A JOKE!" Chocolove shouted, exasperated. "It's just a QUESTION!" 

"…That's easy," Yoh piped up cheerfully. "I'd choose—"

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Horo-horo clapped his hands to his ears. "No need to tell us, Yoh!" 

Hao laughed. "Horo-horo-kun's right, Otouto. You don't need to answer. We ALL know what YOU'RE going to say, anyway."

"Oh yeah?" Yoh challenged. "What?"

"SEX," answered Horo-horo, Ren, and even Manta emphatically. 

"Hey, how did you know?" Yoh scratched his head.

Lyserg shook his head. "Come on, Yoh-kun. As if you don't remember that time when we all went looking for you under Keiko-chan's insistence, only to find you and Anna-san in the bathroom having…um." A slight blush tinged his cheeks.

"…Sex," Hao prodded. "You can say the word, Lyserg-kun. After all, it only consists of three letters." He gave a cheeky grin. 

"I KNOW that!" The dowser growled. He rubbed his temples. They were all here in the onsen to relax, but, honest to GOD, how can one relax with…with that MANIAC in there with them? 

"So for Yoh, it's sex," Chocolove mused. "...What about the others?" 

"Well, what about _you_, Chocolove…what would you choose?" Yoh asked curiously. 

"Coffee, of course. I need lots of it, since I travel a lot, and most of my shows are held at night, up to the wee hours of dawn."

"Yeah," Manta agreed. "I'd choose coffee too."

Hao raised an eyebrow. "Really? Are you sure you don't want…the last choice?" 

Manta shook his head violently. "It's not like…" he mumbled something that the others didn't catch. "And besides, I travel a lot too, you know. And I usually stay up to finish all the papers and stuff for business."

"Which is why you never grow," Yoh commented with a laugh, patting Manta's head.

"Shut _up_!" Manta retorted.

"I _know_ what OPACHO would choose," Hao announced, sending a knowing look across Manta's way. 

The small man turned red and kept quiet, and it was Lyserg who couldn't help asking, "What?"

"Chess."

They all burst out laughing, with Manta laughing so hard that he started to choke. 

"True," Horo-horo gasped, clutching at his side. "Although chess isn't one of the choices."

"Oh, she wouldn't care," Hao said with a flip of his long hair, hitting Lyserg right in the face. "…Oops! Sorry Lyserg-kun, didn't mean to!"

Lyserg ran a hand across his face with irritation. "One of these days I'm going to cut off ALL your hair," he vowed. 

Hao just smiled at him in that annoyingly sweet way, and then promptly turned his attention to Ryu. "Ryu-san! You've been quiet all this time…would you care to answer Chocolove-kun's question?"

"Um…" Ryu looked at Ren, who was glaring daggers at him. "I think I'd rather not." 

"Don't worry Ryu, we'll prevent Ren if he tries to kill you," Horo-horo said with a grin. 

"Well…" Ryu paused, blushing. "Coffee's good, but of course…sex is better, isn't it?"

"Hear, hear!" Hao said loudly. 

"Are you saying YOU'VE ALREADY HAD SEX WITH MY SISTER?!" Ren yelled, his tongari growing longer with each word. 

"For Christ's _sake_, Ren-kun!" Hao rolled his eyes, then felt a painful jab at his side. "OUCH!" He turned to Lyserg with an incredulous look on his face. "What was that for, pray tell?"

"DON'T swear like that," Lyserg scolded.

Horo-horo snorted. "Who are YOU to lecture us on the evils of swearing? I seem to recall YOU swearing a whole LOT yourself." 

Lyserg turned a bit pink at that. "Yeah, but I meant…_not_ to swear using the name of God in vain."  

"Ah, but of course, he's playing the role of his beloved convent girl," the longhaired shaman said with a knowing smirk.

"For the LAST TIME—"

"Yeah, yeah, it's not a convent, blahblahblah, that argument is really getting old, Lyserg-kun." Hao once more focused on Ren. "Anyway, as I was saying before I was _so_ rudely interrupted," he raised an eyebrow, "…they're _adults_, you know."

"Yeah," Yoh agreed, siding with his brother. "Jun's…what, 28? Or 29? She knows what she's doing. And she and Ryu really love each other, ne?" He directed his question at the cook. 

"H-hai," Ryu answered, and this time he met Ren's gaze squarely. 

Ren closed his eyes and sighed. Really, he should stop being so protective of his Neesan. They were right, she's definitely old enough to know what she wants…and definitely old enough to take care of herself…

"Ren-kun…hel-looooo…" Hao was waving a hand in front of his face.

"WHAT NOW?!" The Chinese shaman snapped. 

"I was asking what YOUR choice would be."

"…Like Yoh said, that's easy." Ren met Horo-horo's death glare unflinchingly. "Sex."

"Are you saying YOU'VE ALREADY HAD SEX WITH MY SISTER?!" The Ainu man shouted, echoing Ren's words earlier. 

"OH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!" Ren yelled back. Lyserg was too far to jab him in the side for swearing. "…Your sister and I are MARRIED! Get over it! YOU were the one who gave her away at our wedding!!! Or MAYBE you've hit your head TOO many times by shattering the inn's front WINDOW when you make your entrance EVERY time you arrive here that you've forgotten that FACT already!"

"WHY YOU—"   

Hao put two fingers in his mouth and gave a shrill whistle. Everyone winced. 

"OWW!" Horo-horo glared at Hao. "What was THAT for, you LUNATIC?"

"To make you all shut up, of course," Hao said with a smirk. "…Also, to ask you what YOU would choose." 

"Coffee." Horo-horo answered decisively.

They all gaped at him. "Are you sure?" Ryu asked, his brows furrowed. 

"Why not?" The blue-haired man looked confused. "Coffee goes well with cake, doesn't it?" 

"But, Horo-horo-kun, there wouldn't be any cake to go with your coffee since for Chocolove-kun's question, you have to choose only one thing in the world for the rest of your life," Manta said, forever the voice of reason. 

"What?! No CAKE?" Horo-horo turned to Chocolove. "How come cake isn't one of the choices, anyway?"

"Don't ask me, *I* didn't make up the question," Chocolove said defensively. "I just heard it somewhere…or maybe read about it…and I just asked you guys." 

"And…doesn't CAKE remind you of…SOMEONE?" Hao raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Like who?" Horo-horo asked blankly. Then he blushed. "Oh, yeah…"

"So…now you're going to choose sex, right?" Yoh cut in. 

"Why should I?" Horo-horo blushed even more. "It's not like we've done it before—"

"But you did," Yoh declared, looking confused. "Didn't you? I mean, that's what Tamao told Anna…so is she lying?"

"HA, CAUGHT!" yelled Chocolove. 

Ren shook his head, smirking. "I can't believe YOU'RE after ME for having sex with your sister, when you yourself have done it with Tamao."

"That's DIFFERENT!" Horo-horo retorted, absolutely red in the face by now. "Tamao's not YOUR sister anyway!"

"I'M SURE," Hao said loudly, preventing another argument between Horo-horo and Ren, "That Lyserg-kun here will choose sex as well, ne?" 

The Englishman, who was no longer really listening to the conversation and was about to doze off, suddenly became wide-awake. "WHAT? NO, no, my choice would be…" he faltered as everyone in the onsen turned to gaze at him. "…Coffee." 

A pause.

"Lots of work at the agency, you know," Lyserg explained, "And I stay up most nights too, with calls and weird cases coming in anytime—"

"I refuse to believe you haven't done IT with Jeanne-san," Hao said disbelievingly. 

"But I haven't!" Lyserg insisted, blushing a bit. "There may have been times when we came _absolutely_ close to actually….um, having…sex…but we always manage to stop ourselves before…well, before _that_ can even happen." 

Everyone stared at him in astonishment. 

"I don't believe you," Horo-horo said, shaking his head. 

"Unlike YOU, I can control myself, thank you very much," Lyserg retorted, but he was smiling. 

"HEY! What's that supposed to—"

"OH, GOD!" moaned Hao, clutching his hair in mock despair. "How can you be SO darn freaking GOOD all the time, Lyserg-kun? My extending Marco-san's stay in Egypt for another year had been all for NOTHING!" He heaved a huge sigh. 

"Even if we want to, we CAN'T!" Lyserg said defensively. "I mean, even if Marco-san's out of the picture, what would the sisters say?" He added in a murmur, "Besides, we're not even married yet…" 

"Well, it's not like you'd be broadcasting the details of your sex life with Jeanne to everybody," Ren reasoned. "I mean, who would? *I* certainly would never tell you guys about MY sex life with Pilica…" He paused to meet Horo-horo's glare. "Dammit, Horo-horo. Give it a rest already! Nor would I want to know my sister's sex life…" he shuddered. 

Ryu turned red again and muttered, "Gomen." 

Ren continued. "AND I certainly wouldn't want to know Yoh's…"

"I'd never tell you guys either!" Yoh said cheerfully. "If I did, Anna would kill me for sure," he added as an afterthought. 

"For sure." Manta agreed. 

"Even so," Lyserg continued to defend himself, "We…we just feel it's not right. So…my answer to Chocolove-kun's question is coffee…for now. How's that?" 

"A very honest answer, Lyserg-kun," Hao applauded. "Of course, we all know that once you DO have sex with convent girl, you'll be changing your mind, ne?" 

"Hey!" Horo-horo suddenly said. "Everyone of us except YOU—" he pointed an accusing finger at Hao, "—have answered the question already."

"He's right," Manta nodded. "What would you choose, Hao-kun—" He stopped abruptly as Hao reached for his English Lemon Tea Flavored Lights and lit a stick. "Oh, well…I guess _that_ answers it, ne?" 

Hao took a long drag and exhaled, flashing them all a wide grin. 

"ONIICHAN!" Yoh protested. "I'm getting tired of telling you to stop smoking."

"Fair enough. I'm getting tired of hearing YOU telling me to stop smoking anyway, Otouto," Hao declared cheerfully. 

"Really, put that away RIGHT NOW." Yoh glanced at the entrance to the men's onsen nervously. "I swear, Anna will be able to smell the smoke. After she had given birth…even if it's been five months, her senses are still…well, even more heightened than it usually is..." 

Sure enough, a loud scream resonated throughout the whole inn. "ASAKURA HAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Everyone winced, and ducked into the water to avoid the impending doom. 

Hao hurriedly extinguished his stick and tossed the whole pack far away. "Uh-oh…she IS mad. She forgot to call me Oniichan."

***

Yoh was cuddled against Anna on the large futon. Keiko-chan, in her eagerness to show her parents how mature she is, and her excitement in becoming an itako in the near future, had begun to sleep in her own room, and rarely ever did so anymore in between Yoh and Anna. Hao-chan, on the other hand, was already fast asleep in his own crib, while Ren-chan, who had given up his old crib to his little brother, now slept in the twins' room. 

Anyway, they were about to go to sleep. Or rather, Anna IS already asleep…but Yoh didn't know that. He was about to fall into slumber himself when he remembered Chocolove's question earlier. 

Chuckling, he pulled Anna closer, and roused her from her sleep. "Hey, Anna…I have a question for you." 

She glared at him sleepily, but he was undaunted. "…What?" she grumbled.

"If you could have only one thing in the world, what would it be: coffee, cigarettes or sex?" 

Anna propped herself up on one elbow and glared at him even more, no longer sleepy. "I can't believe you woke me up just to ask me some stupid question."

"Oh, come on. Just answer it. Please?" And he gave her that puppy-eyed look she couldn't resist.

She sighed and buried her face in the pillow. "You should know the answer to that, Yoh."

"I should?" he repeated.

"You should," she nodded.

"Cigarettes?"

She proceeded to hit him on the head. "ITAI!" he yelped. "What was th—"

"You know as well as I do that I. DO. NOT. SMOKE," she said in between gritted teeth, careful to keep her voice low so as not to awaken their children. And again, she was reminded of her so-called Oniichan daring to smoke, and INSIDE the men's onsen at that! Hao had appeared at dinner sporting quite a few bandages around his head.

"I was only kidding," he grinned. He wrapped his arms around her, coaxing her to relax. "So…you'd choose coffee, then?"

Anna rolled her eyes, giving up. She didn't know if he really was THAT stupid, or just pretending to be…but he's Yoh. She wrapped her arms around his neck and placed little kisses on his jaw line, trying to distract him. And trying to POINT OUT to him what her choice would be. "I don't drink coffee," she said after a while, pleased to note that her husband was getting a little short of breath. Lack of oxygen? _I think not._

"Um…" Yoh inhaled sharply. What were they talking about again? Oh, right. "You used to," he said, digging his hands into her waist without meaning to. "In high school. One day, we were in this café, and you ordered a LOT of coffee drinks…"

"I did?" This time she moved to trail kisses on his collarbone…back to his neck…his cheeks…stopping on his lips. "Well, that's not what I would choose, either," she whispered against his mouth. 

Yoh grinned. "I KNEW you'd choose se—"

Anna's mouth devoured the rest of the word. 

Which, of course, led to that thing they both chose to have…if they could have only one thing for the rest of their lives.

-end!-   

A/N (again): Chocolove's question, by the way, came from a vandal in one of the cubicles in one of the many rest rooms in one of the many colleges we have in my university. I swear, I am not kidding. It was a poll, and each word (coffee, cigarettes, sex) had these lines beside them. I placed a line, too. Besides where? That's for me to know…and for you guys never to find out! (Although Apple-chan and Syaowee know, I presume ^^) 

Anna being supposedly a caffeine addict comes from **KiraX105**'s fic, "Embrace" ^___^ That's my favorite fic of hers! You ROX, Kira. ^^ We all ROX! YAY! 

Btw, this fic is a product from the stress of studying for finals, actually taking the finals and probably failing the finals, freaking research papers that do not seem to get finished, and my constant yearning for semestral break…which seems so near yet so far. I LOVE MY LIFE! ^___^ 


End file.
